Marianne

Remember when you wanted to stay?
       When you wanted me to meet your friends and your dog and your real life
              The one outside the life that crossed with mine
       When we blew coke and dropped doses right there at the bar
       When we stared at each other, inches apart
       I touched your face
       You touched mine
              We touched more than faces
       And then—

You disappeared
       No warning
       No note
       No goodbye, not even a cruel one
And I know, I’m not that big a fool
       I know I’ll never meet your friends
       I know I’ll never meet your dog
       I know I’ll never know the life outside your life
When you vanished
       So did we, except—

One day
One sliver of hope that I’ll see you again
One sliver of hope that lets the rest of me down
       Because I know I never will
       I know you’re not coming back
       But always, always I will wonder—